Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Positive: A Revelation of Epic proportions. Part One


You've heard the voice of God, solely. 
Everything is so clear to you. Reload for the greater good. Focus. Throw us at the feet of the fools. You don't know how lucky you are that your life is so characterless. All the worlds a cage and we are animals pounding at the glass. Housebroken, declawed. Unaware of the threat. Bull hooks that keep us in line while cameras flash and we play while the trespassers plot to collect on their debts. There were eyes everywhere that I went. You'll be found. Mark my words. You will be found. Stripped down and held to the light. You will be found. They will narrow their eyes, take aim and bring the world to it's knees. You'll be found. Mark my words. You will be found. Just because you have figured it out. Doesn't mean it won't happen to you. Just because you have figured it out. Doesn't mean it won't happen to you. All the worlds a maze and they are scientists plotting every move. Big brother will keep us in line with his snipers on the roof. Though I'm cautious not to draw the attention of the fiends, I'm the happiest sadist around once surrendered to the drink. There was fire everywhere that I stood. 
There was fire everywhere that I stood. Just because you're afraid of the dark doesn't mean that it's frightened of you. Just because you're afraid of the dark doesn't mean that it's frightened of you. 
You've heard the voice of God, solely. Everything is so clear to you. Slow down your racing heart. Steady. Quickly or it moves out of frame. We are nothing more than mannequins. Everyone is put of display. This will not pass in time. The moment will not pass. Caught in the act for our lives. The moment will not pass. The dark doesn't flinch. Take heed. The moment will not pass. Cover your tracks. We're sitting ducks. The moment will not pass. 
We are nothing more than mannequins.
Organ Grinder, Everytime I Die

So I come back to you. Now. Free of drugs. To discuss to you the things that I have seen. And noticed.

This first blog will be the intro of a series of posts. I'm going to keep them relativity short. If you haven't read my first one, please read it. It is long, but easy to read. It is important to this series.

I had a revelation about drugs and doing things in excess.
In a sense, I have connected everything I have ever learned into one complex theory. And at the rate things are going, logically, we will not survive for too much longer as a planet. My idea is rough still. I will continue to do more research to add to it, and define it.
Until then, I have some warnings and pleas.
Whatever you choose to do, be kind.
Whoever you choose to be around, show them love.
If you say that you will do something, do it with peace, not force.
And most importantly, try your damn hardest to be conscious of the fact that everything you do has some sort of effect on someone else.

Give me a couple of days, and you will get part two.
I must do more research.

Peace, and Love
Steven Donovan Trick Larson Weckter


 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Final Contest: Workshop in Art Studio and History ( A semi complete guide to why I deserve to have passed this class)

Zombie Roar, Photoshop CS5 Paint, 05/16/11


 I come here today to address you both with great respect. I respect both of you because you have both been the best teachers that I have had to date. I do not say that in a way to flatter you. I speak it because it is true. I'm not here to waste your time, I know you both work very hard. But like I said before, I will fight to the end to pass this class. And since I do not see my Blog or Morgue grade on the Blackboard, the fight  seems to not be over. 
At first, I thought this class was worthless. I was cocky and didn't think i could learn a thing. But over the course of the year, this class has changed that view. I came in like most with a narrow view of what art was. You both gave me the knowledge to see that I was wrong. I am using that knowledge now. I am very motivated by my failures. I do fail a lot. But I have the God given talent of not only creating art, but of learning from my failures. I can see the positives in mostly every situation, which is a very hard thing to do. Coming to college intially blocked this power, because I saw a lot of negatives around me. I thought that for me to succeed, i would have to draw from this negativeness and fight my positive side. I thought wrong. 
I know the purpose of WASH. It is to help the incoming artists that are going to SHSU to see that to truely make it in the art world, you have to truely devote yourself to the Art, and give it your all. I realized this on March 20th of this semester. That is when i fully dedicated myself to art. Everyday since then, I never missed a day of WASH. Nor was I late. I wanted to go to class because I finally realized what you were trying to teach me. I made the rest of the year into an art piece. I put down layers of positiveness, and balanced it with the knowledge that you both, God, and everyone else has ever taught me. 
My Big Idea piece was a piece about how I drew in from every influence I could think of, and everything I learned in Wash. You say that my piece lacked clarity. Allow me to make it clear.
I used every element I knew how, and every medium I had. I gave it my all. 
It had repetition. The number 3 was repeated throughout the piece: 3 heads, three bodies, 3 bamboo pieces, the 3 dimensions (2D,3D, and 4D). It was even held up by three screws. 
This repetition unified the piece. The color choice was even on purpose. Trick Larson, or my bad side, was in green and yellow, the colors I personally associate with evil (because Zombies are pretty much the most evil thing I can think of, and are mostly green and yellow tinted). And the on the opposite side, you have Shaggy, or my good side, being red and purple ( the opposite of zombies in my art world are Phoenixs, which go through transformations by fire to better their selves, and are mostly red and purple).
The partner I had was my good ole partner in crime Josh Deel, AKA Cunt Davis. His presence was to so balance, and that I am not perfect. I know that I am not perfect. That was represented in the unfinished look of the sail I created. But through the power of teamwork, and trust in God (bamboo is the symbol for God, for it is one of the most strongest woods you can find), I can sail through life, learning as I go
 with God as my support.
  I beleive that God is the best artist in all of history. He made us the best pieces of all. And he works through all of us, whether we believe it or not. God blessed me with this big idea, and to have downsized his idea would be a  blasphemy that I did not want to see the consequences for when He finally judges the Art piece that I have created with my life in the end.
The point that I am trying to make is that why waste both your time and my time going through another semester teaching me what I have already figured out? By all means, if you believe that I should go through another semester with WASH, then I will not give up. I will come back, and fight to the end that year. Art is what I was made to create. So I beg of you, please don't hold me back, when in the end, I have truely learned what you sought to teach me. Thank you for your consideration

Friday, March 25, 2011

ode to the old me: Eulogy to the Death of Steven and Donovan Weckter/The Super Birth of Steven Donovan Weckter


You may not know me, but since you Opened this, know that everything said here and said by you(or thought by you) is for a reason, so please read it till the end.
This is My Last Facebook Status, so epic, some of you may not be able to Handle it. I think some face bookers  may have a problem with paying attention  for more than 420 characters.
Thanks to those with respect for a fellow human being . May you use this information for your own personal interest; however noble or non noble those conquests are, don't ever give in to failure.
Now read on....
You Will Never forget this....

Amidst the most barren scene how are we lost?
Lost?
Lost?
You've got to be fucking kidding me
Shut up
Just give me the wheel and I'll drive
You are not yet fit to speak on my behalf
We deserve to be moved by more than force alone
Instead i've been witness to loss
Upon loss
Upon loss
I'm assailed by the thoughtless who sing to their own
Caught in the middle
I'm pinned between the egos and the drones
Skill has been called to arms
Goddamn kids have grown up to let down
All around us are dissonant sounds
We're misplaced and we'll never be found
All these kids have grown up to let down
I'll be spinning in my grave for the rest of my life
Have i taught you children nothing all this time?
This labyrinth that we're puzzled by
Is nothing but a straight line
But sometimes those are even harder to navigate
We deserve to be moved by more than force alone
Instead i've been witness to loss
Upon loss
Upon loss
I'm assailed by the thoughtless who sing to their own
Caught in the middle
I'm pinned between the egos and the drones
Pride has been called to arms
Goddamn kids have grown up to let down
All around us are dissonant sounds
We're misplaced and we'll never be found
All these kids have grown up to let down
If this is the state of my art
Then i secede
If this is the state of my art
Then i secede
We're walking Spanish down a plank that stretches miles
You are not yet fit to speak on my behalf
What a shame we're forced
To suffer this senselessness and insanity
Goddamn Kids These Days- Every Time I Die

My art teacher, Mrs. Renner, is one of my biggest inspirations for wanting to teach art.
I had her class everday my senior year. And she is the best art teacher I know of.
I trust and value her opinion.
On one of the last days of high school, I asked her to evaluate one of my thoughts.
" I think that life is about finding the balance between the positive and negative in everything, and helping others do the same"
She smiled, and said, "Yes Donovan, that is right. Balance is in everything we do."

This revelation was one that would impact my life forever, but I didn't know how easily I would forget to use it.
I had another revelation on Sunday, March 20th, 2011, that would have an even better impact.
It was the same revelation, but this time, I decided to actually use the information.

In high school, I was very passionate about art.
If you couldn't find me in my class, 4 out the 5 chance I was in the art room.
I was in love with art, but like some of ex's will tell you, I had a hard time staying faithful with relationships.
Things tend to get in the way if the relationship isn’t right in front of me. I just wasn’t disciplined.
Although I had a grasp of what art was, it was still a child’s grasp.
It was aesthetically pleasing, but immature, and lacked a purpose other than self-expression, which I like to call selfish art.
During that summer, I seemed to lose inspiration. I worked all the time and I had no time for art. I was working non stop, and didn’t have a whole lot of energy to even hang with friends at times. But it happened for a reason. While I was working,
I  discovered that I had ADHD, and I got prescribed Adderall, a common treatment.
I view adhd as a super power that is very hard to control yourself. The doctor said that I have seemed to create OCD’s that  protected and helped me tap into the hidden power of the disorder, but the Adderall would relieve the common problem with kids who have adhd, which is the problem staying alert and attentive  to everyone one around me.
Although I had this problem lifted from me, I felt that something was missing.
I was still very selfish in my actions.  And I still wasn’t devoted to living life to the fullest.
I still had to learn how to use this new power for good. But I failed at harnessing it for truly selfless purposes and helping others, which is what I want to do with my life. And those short comings robbed my ambition.
It didn’t stop when I got to college. I had a taste of true freedom. And it overcame my still not fully mature mind. Although I graduated in the top ten percent of my class, I almost failed my first semester of college.  I lost the determination that made me great in high school. I got lazy and started to procrastinate even more than I naturally did. I took my medicine every day, but I used the potential it gave me to do truly selfish things. I partied all the time, I chased girls with the intention to use them, and I didn’t care too much. I was an evil person then.
Let me tell you a side note on good and evil and how you yourself can determine if someone or their actions are truly good or truly evil: 
What makes one good or evil? Their actions.  Evil people do predominantly selfish things; good people do predominantly selfless things. That much you can’t argue.  But think of selfishness as not truly an evil word with a negative connotation.  The Christian bible even says that God is selfish with our time, and wants us to give Him (respectively) most of our time. You can’t tell me that you believe that God is evil, if you believe he exists. I may sound like I believe in Christianity, but I will tell you that is false. I believe that someone did create us all, and that he/she gave us the power to create. So if the person who created you is selfish and demands your time, selfish isn’t a total negative word.  The way to tell if someone is good or evil is by the level of selfishness and selflessness in their actions( thinking, verbs, or not acting at all) and let me tell you that everything we do is selfish in some way.
But Donovan, not everyone is evil.
You’re right. If you give all your money to the Salvation Army, you will probably consider yourself and the action you have done a truly selfless act, as well as others. But why did you do it? Because YOU wanted to help someone and YOU get a feeling of accomplishment.   Why didn’t you do it sooner?  Because to YOU, this was the time to do it.     Think of good and evil as a balance. And your actions come with some weights (worldly impact, the more worldly impact, and the more weight) that are labeled good and evil. The world and you yourself will be the ones to put the weights on the scale, and selfish will go on the evil side, and selfless will go on the good.  Whatever weighs more will determine if you are good or evil.

Good and evil directly correlate with the balance of selfishness and selflessness. And I was evil by my own definition. I knew this information before that summer, as I came up with it during my search for what defines good and evil. I was my own monster, and I was blind to it for a while, which hurt a lot of people.
Then I got into the second semester, which was all art classes, one of them being SHSU’s infamous WASH program (a boot camp for artists).  I thought it was a joke, and made it clear. I showed up late, or not at all at times. I either didn’t turn in things, or did them half assed. I didn’t care. I thought that they couldn’t teach me much more than I didn’t already now, and told my teacher that.  I was wrong, and on that mentioned Sunday, I learned more than I could ever learn anywhere else.
I realized that Sunday that I was wasting my life doing things half assed, and not doing things to my full potential.   
Why did you do things half assed? With these so called super powers, you should want to do your best.
Let me tell you why. I had let my parting, (which included weed smoking, which I do not do anymore because of my revelation) and other selfish acts dull those powers. I had to do something about it.  I couldn’t stand myself.  I decided to change. I decided to grow up and become a man, a man not by public definition, but one that has realized his dream and destiny. On that day I said that it was going to be the last day I will be a teen/child. The next day was my metaphorical coming of age ceremony (which I will post video of later on of what happened then).   All last week I worked on my map project, which was the map of destruction that I had set up myself, which included my failures. Before Sunday, my map was selfish art, and what happened on Sunday was what gave me my piece purpose.  Fate gave me a mobster slap.  I goggled that morning what my name Donovan Weckter meant, and I was shocked at the information.
The name of Donovan indicates you are a patient, meticulous person who enjoys working in a very detailed, systematic way, in such fields as mathematics, science, mechanics, computers, or engineering. You do your best work when there is no disruption, as you do not easily adjust to interference and changes once you start a project; also you like to work step by step at your own speed. Your infinite patience would allow you to develop intricate, involved skills to perfection. However, it is not easy for others to work and live with you as you deliberate so long in arriving at conclusions and allow small details to restrict your point of view. Although the name Donovan creates the urge to be both logical and technical, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details exclusively. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination system, which can lead to other complications. http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/DisplayNameAnalysis.cfm
I was shocked. It described me fully.  So I decided to use my first name too, Steven. Just Steven Weckter, a name that I hated.
Your first name, Steven, makes you independent, resourceful, practical, and patient. You could be inventive along scientific or technical lines. Although you are not naturally spontaneous in musical or artistic expression, you can develop technical proficiency along these lines. You are fussy about details and seek perfection in whatever you undertake. Being somewhat willful and skeptical, you learn best through your own experiences and seek proof though facts. You work best alone, making your own decisions, and learning from your own experiences. Despite your loyalty to friends, your communication at times is stilted, too candid, and frank. The name Steven creates the urge to be creative and original, but we point out that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses centering in the head, and in the stomach and intestinal organs. http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/DisplayNameAnalysis.cfm
That was even scarier. It was scarier because even the name that I didn’t use, described me exactly as well. I took a personal journey in my memory, and realized the times I acted like Donovan, and also acted like Steven.  My last name has plagued me. Everyone in my family has failed at living life to the fullest. And they barely scrape by.  My family seemed to be cursed to fail, because they were cursed with ADHD. (To my family reading this, do some research of ADHD, and look from within your own memories, and you will see this truth. It is why I love you guys most, and I understand all of you now).  They were cursed because they had something that they didn’t know about, and it caused them to fail. It can affect your relationships, your health, and your sanity if you don’t know that you even have it at all. What is love? Being able to care about someone because you understand why they do the things they do, for you probably do or have done those things too. So if you have some degree of adhd, you will most likely attract or fall in love with someone who has it and the curse is hereditary. But if you know about it, it can give you great potential. I didn’t know my real parents too well, only of what they have done. And they didn’t know me at all.  But it was no mere luck of the draw that I got this name. It was fate. It was no mere coincidence that I got the curse. It was a gift from fate. What I didn’t realize growing up, was that my two names were meant for me to find their meanings on that fateful day. I also didn’t know that the fact that I was dabbling back and forth between names (potentials/destinies) and not finding the balance and actually using my name as a whole.  I needed to combine my one destiny with my super power, my families’ hidden gift. You need to make sacrifices to change things, so first i killed off the weed monster; it was blinding me.  That day I also  killed off Steven and Donovan Weckter, monsters that were dangerous alone because they distract me from a steady path,and on Monday I started to  built the new me, Steven Donovan Weckter, a monster formed from the power to create, from the power that I harvested the positive from both other monsters (I refer to my names metaphorically, because man is inherently evil by nature, and the only way to fight evil is with a better evil, to fight man, you must be a better man; “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man”(samuel johnsen)).   This is what I found out both of them combined mean:
Greek   Male      Variant of Stephen: Crown; victorious.

English  Male      Variant of Stephen 'Crown; wreath.'.
Your number is: 3
The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, and the joy of living.
The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you. The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.
Your Soul Urge number is: 6
A Soul Urge number of 6 means:
With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you an able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times. The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings. If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be overdone, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.
Your Inner Dream number is: 6
An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.
http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp     
No effing way right? I found the balance. And it was destined for me to find it now.  What this is telling me is that if I control myself, I could potentially succeed in everything I do, if I do to the best of my ability. After going to see Destroy Rebuild until God Shows that night to get Craig Owens to sign my phone for the piece and have an experience with some people I will never forget or change for the world, I set off to work on my most epic piece of my life, my coming of age presentation. So I am now an adult man. I demand respect in that light. I have earned it with this realization, this revelation, and will continue to earn it.  That being said, men do not bullshit, and do things half ass, so I am going to make some really bold statements. Because I think I have destiny on my side.
I will be one of the best at what I do. And what I do is create. I am not a mere artist, that title is too restricting. I am a creator, someone who will create great things. But I will not create these things for fame, although it will most likely come. I will not create these things for selfish reasons; I will create them for the better of mankind.  I will be either the renaissance man of my time, or will fail and be labeled insane.  But even if I am labeled what ignorant man calls insane, I will laugh, and shoot a “if I am insane, then the world is truly flat. I think that I would rather go live at the edge then be forced to live in the center of your shitty island.” Haah. I will be one who is quoted, best  I will create to destroy. They are related, because even creations are at the very least destroying the  space that they take up, and my creations will break barriers. I will create to destroy, to destroy the barriers of your reality, and help you find the tools to rebuild  your own balance, so that maybe, just maybe, you will be inspired to live life, and actually enjoy everything.  I will be positive, even about the negatives, because there is always something positive about the negatives, and the other way around. Everything I do from the moment I wake up in the morning will be for a reason. I will be disciplined, but easy going when needed.  You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I, John Lennon, Albert Einstein, and Leonardo Da Vinci aren’t the only ones. (And because I’m still cheesy as fuck ;} ) Someday I hope you will join us, and the world will be as one. I cannot restrict myself in anything.  You may think that I’m full of shit. You may think that I’m bullshitting all of this. But remember this status/note; I will not post another one with another on this site.  I cannot contain what I have to say in the limits of this sites status’, which are flooded by worthless complaints, and bullshit selfish motives; only sometimes is an actually deep thought expressed. To some people, reading Facebook is the most reading they do. Only the power of pictures can say what I have to say, because a picture is about experiences, and experiences build the path that we all walk on. I will live for day to day encounters and encourage conversation, and my conversation will encourage you.   So from now on, I will only post pictures or video, and use Facebook to keep in contact with all my friends privately through IM and messaging. If you want to read what I have to say, I will set a blog for this, and use twitter to provide a link for my posts. Nothing will stand in my way, not your thoughts, weed, or the status quo.  I will not use words to explain my creations, my creations will make you use words.   
Thank you for reading this. I will update FB profile info to let you know about the blog and twitter account and any other website I create.